Misunderstandings are what got us here in the first place. Interested in everything, all in all humble with what I possess. I wish for knowledge of the process. I’m just trying to process everything, all in all, working to be better for the challenges scheming. All in all still dreaming of what could be. Trying to stay focused with this scenario that which requires me.
There was a coffee shop up the street that sold these amazing cranberry muffins. I had the opportunity to try these muffins last week and it made my day so I thought I’d get me one before I started my journey.
There is a back booth in the coffee shop that I wanted to sit at but I seen man in a cap reading a newspaper already occupying the seat. I order my coffee and muffin and looked around for another place to sit. Then suddenly a feeling of deja vu approached the building. The man in the back booth stands up and walks toward me. In a very stern voice he says:
Do join me back here, there are a few things we must discuss.
I recognized his face but it was almost as if I didn’t want to fully embrace his identity. Although I was intrigued to know about what he wanted to discuss. Second guessing was not an option. I went to the back and sat down with this mysterious man.
He wore dark shades and had a scarf wrapped around his neck nearly covering up his face. The fitted baseball cap tightly worn gave no structure to his face. He was trying to be anonymous drinking his cup of coffee but I knew he was trying to convey something purposeful in his voice. I sit down:
Before you speak or say anything please know I mean no harm and only want guidance and wisdom.
Wisdom, what are you talking about?
(Man takes off shades and hat)
Well I’m you ten years ago. I know this is strange and I know you have questions about why I’m here, but I only have a short time here with you in this moment. This is not a scam or trick but a wellness retreat where I am able to contact my future self and request knowledge that will enrich my future in my present, your past. If that makes any sense, if any of this makes sense please answer me these three questions. We can’t get off topic of what I came to discuss with you. This time travel is serious business and if I know too much about anything else besides your present mind it will taint the realties of everyone in the universe.
So you can’t bet or make any money from gambling on professional sports games?
No, I am only here to hear from myself, myself only meaning you. It’s very dangerous to be messing with the laws of time but it’s pretty save if we only discuss the topics.
What are the topics?
The first is what was the most challenging thing that I will have to look forward to in my time before I am you? Go.
It’s a funny question because the challenging thing for me is learning to be satisfied with you. We constantly want to grow and be better and are quick to be critical of what people may think of us or even think that the things we keep close validate this sense of safety. Although I can only be truly happy or sure of what’s happening, when I am trying to figure out myself. The challenge is knowing that the learning never stops. The teacher can be the student at any time so by being able to focus on assisting or helping the self understand yourself better, your constantly having those challenges there. I had to get better at that everyday. I want great things around me, yes, but I myself must be great too. Greatness does offer a challenge.
What about the most rewarding thing?
Easily education for me. I think of the Shakespeare play The Tempest, Prospero who is this dad that has been kicked out of the civilized world in which he has access to this wonderful library. His books are his love. Living on the Island he only can dream of those pages of knowledge. He schemes his way back into the courtship (depending on what version) but I think the books represent Prospero’s love for learning. And for me, education and having my own set of books really opened up the opportunities in my life (still do.) The world is a living library and putting effort and even enjoying to learn new things can make the biggest difference in life. I am not regretful about the time I invested in my education and I can always reflect and continue to grow because of it. Next question.
The most fun?
The most fun. Besides this moment I am in now. I guess maybe this feeling will change as I get older but you know, there is a time for having fun and there’s a time not to have fun. In the times where I can have fun, I’m usually around fun people. I think even this moment that is occurring now is definitely a certain type of fun. I mean, it will be fun thinking about it later ten years from now.
Epic Scrabble games and road trips to Vegas. I try to keep it fun all the time. Playing basketball with your cousins in the village. Taking your niece to town. Meaningful conversations with the people you keep close, almost learning more about them in the talks. There is so many levels to fun and you should try to engage in all that you can. It’s a balance.
Thank you, I must go now.
The time traveler leaves the table and walks out the coffee shop. The waiter instantly walks to the booth and swings a baseball bat at the back of my head. I wake up from a nightmare and I’m in my bed. Was that even real?
The year has come close to the end but the timeline of the calendar can daunt the actual real joyful aspects of the moment. I think the brain can become so cluttered with thought, so focused on things yet to come, I just need to clear the static of the dates. Remembering only greatness was scheduled for this time.
Thanksgiving in a couple of weeks, Christmas right around the corner. It’s all exciting but very stressful to find an accurate way of handling it all. No right or wrong answers correct. So why am I unable to just chill?
Maybe being levelheaded in the matter is not my cup of tea. This year is just over and it’s in the past. I guess it’s got me feeling sentimental about how fast time goes and how the year can slip through your fingertips if you don’t have a strong enough grip. What having a strong grip means is totally up in the air. Can you look back at the year and be satisfied with how things worked out? How does this year prepare you for the next?
Trying to get things right but what if the right thing still needs to rest or brew just a bit longer. Who rushes art? Regardless of the time it takes to unveil the work, the painting will be perceived by the viewer as something tangible. Not every thing connects as well. Although if you are able to reach someone by having them reflect on their own opinions, even question their own initial response is the icing on the cake.
The ideas may not be always clear in the noodle, yet with the creative energy your able to use that motivation for the creation of a masterpiece.
Steal a great a idea and make it ten times better. Challenge accepted.
My niece is forming these taste buds that seem to really matter to me. I made spaghetti the other week and she ate the whole thing, even asked for another bowl. She loved the food that day. Other days she approaches the meal very defensive.
What is that?
Almost setting up the answer to be already responded by:
Oh I don’t eat that.
Elexis loves applesauce and sometimes applesauce is the reward for eating these foods she rather not. She doesn’t pull all the weight around here but I guess I just want the food to be to her liking. Ultimately, I want her not to go to bed on a empty stomach. Although the real responsibility is knowing that all our belles need to get feed. Food for thought, but how amazing is it that my four year old niece is reminding me in a loving way to feed the soul. It’s more than good flavors, it’s using enough love to satisfy the hunger for connection.
These meals between my niece and I are nourishing for the spirit. Me more for the present and E-girl can always look back and remember that her uncle could get down in the kitchen.
How do you like the sound of ending all the meals with applesauce?
If I could understand it all
I wouldn’t at all need the comprehension
Trying to get a grip of reality
just doing what I got to do to get by
It was just a vision
and in a instant
Dreams of CREAM
Yesterday you invented a new astrological sign. Today, write your own horoscope — for the past month (in other words, as if you’d written it October 1st).
The beginning of the day can always be determined by the way you ended the pervious day. The need for balance is always key and constant water in your heart; using the healthy vision to take on the challenges offered for the day. Big or small the choices made will always determine the future for the universe. Laughter may be the only cure for topics ongoing but the attitude of the “Thug” can always turn something into nothing. Power is a wonderful thing and passing that power onward for the greater good is divine practice. Smile and greet the sun for never letting you down. Embrace the responsibilities of the actions you want done in the world. Living is good but trying to work towards something bigger during those days living is greatness. End the day with positive recollections of life and send any negativity out the window. Keep your head up and have only great energy for what tomorrow brings.
The Universe is a production and the main attraction is myself, everyone is apart of the show, working to make my life a ongoing series or show of some sort. The continent has become so obsessed with other people’s lives and a show that never ended was entertainment for the world to see.
I had not noticed the plot until I was twenty-five and once I knew the cameras were rolling I had demanded my fair treatment, my piece of the cake. The creators of the human sitcom were making bank and I wanted to be compensated for not ruining the big stage. I did, too some degree enjoy being watched. Although I could not lose sight of the role I knew people were seeing on the screen. So I accepted the hurt and pain inflicted by the production, I guess it comes with game. I’m only harvesting the natural. If that makes any sense.
Living like no ones watching, trying to figure out an objective in the chaos they’ve written down for me to experience. Is this still worth my time?
Wake to Greet the Sun
We don’t mind
Arms around me
Holding the moments
Through and through
We grew into threads
Thoughts about dinner
Birds dreaming to fly
Icarus was foolish
To be brave
Will be dandy
It’s been a little difficult trying to write new posts for me. It’s something about almost having too much to say and feeling like those thoughts in my noodle need to be articulated perfect. Holding back from myself really maybe not such a good thing, although I am being honest about the philosophical writer’s block. It’s got me taking too much time to think. And I can be kicking myself in the head for not letting in all out in this moment.
I was thinking the other day about how much our lives are influenced by music. Those pieces of music we hold onto and identify with is what we’re built from. No denying that I’ve never felt in touch with what an artist is conveying through song.
I really thought this song was about me.
Please cure me with sweet lyrics and melodies that match the pace of my heart. Guide me though miles of day and rescue the silence filling the cold room. Heartbreak & Death, are real things and through music I can embrace the validity of life. We do suffer from loss and eventually I will be gone.
Nonetheless, that cannot stop me from excepting these truths and still being happy to be alive. Finding meaning in my own individual existence and chasing after any desires my heart and soul want to go after for the sake of being one of a kind. Only “I” could come into this situation being created now.
Life challenges us but the struggles do allow us to grow and become better people. Day to day I will find some balance with what has yet to come and what is most important now. “Now” obviously, but “Me” as well.