This year is already passing by and there so many things happening that I can’t keep it under control. Well at least that’s how I been feeling lately. You ever get to the point in your day and say, “what did I sign up for?”
Someone said I have senioritis. If the symptoms are getting lazy and not wanting to embrace the adult world, then yes I have the senioritis disease. It’s spreading to my ambitions too. But seriously I am more easily distracted than most of my semesters. I want to socialize rather than do homework. I’m no psychologist, although my attitude might have something to do with the next chapter in life. Senioritis sounds a lot like having cold feet. But why would I have cold feet?
The food idiom I wanted to explore for this blog post is “Don’t bite off more than you can chew.” This is how I feel about the future. I want a challenge but what if the task is impossible. That’s why I choose, “bite off more than you can chew” because it is clearly referencing these elements in life that can be difficult or just too much for an individual to handle. Maybe the idea of adulthood and finding a job is what I think will be too much to chew.
This is why it feels like I’m sabotaging my semester now. This is my last. After this semester things will change. And that is why I’m so nervous about the future. I don’t want things to change completely. I still feel the same. But am I really the same? I know my relatives see a change and my friends too. Yet, I still feel the same as I did when I was starting out. I still feel like the kid from the Rez. The arrogant wild child that didn’t need to grow up is still very much in existence. I guess it feels like when the semester ends things will just naturally transform into my life. Scared as hell but this what we sign up for.
Biting off more than you can chew in the literal sense also resonates with these moments in my life. It’s always a treat to watch E-girl eat at the dinner table. But when she was first learning how to use her fork to eat she would always put more than enough food in her mouth. She just would stuff food in her mouth and then realize it was too much. Of course she would attempt to swallow it. Her dad would tell her not to eat so much and to take her time. Especially with meats, E-girl would stuff her mouth with food and just be holding it in. I know she’s having a difficult time swallowing. So I would just put my hand out in front of her. She then spits out the food in my palm and I’d tell her to slow down. I just make her spit it out because it is too much to chew.
The phrase, “Don’t bite off more than you can chew” has this overwhelming element attached to it. The roles we inherit or decide to take on at times can be overbearing and hard to deal with but those responsibilities are apart of growing up. Feeling like you bit off more than you can chew isn’t a bad thing. And having that optimistic spirit really comes in handy when you doubt your self or acknowledge a huge challenge. In that moment when you feel you bit off too much. Accept the challenge because in life the things we do have consequences. Sometimes in life we as individuals need that confrontation of what’s possible and what is out of our range. In life sometimes we need to remind ourselves on how difficult things are. That doesn’t mean we can’t do them. It just means that we need to prepare for what they bring.
Family is always at the top of my mind. And within that structure too, there can be challenges and difficulties. It is always a trip watching E-Girl experience things brand new like riding a bike. She has her whole life in front of her. I guess that stage of adulthood is not one I wanted to embrace as a child. So now that I am at threshold of adulthood and I just want to stay a kid. Which is not even possible, but I guess there are things in my childhood that I am still chewing on. If that makes any sense?
There should be a fortune cookie that reads “Today you will bite off more that you can chew, everything will be fine. Just don’t choke on it.”