Things are getting real. It’s like crunch time for me. The semester is winding down and I’m more nervous about getting all my assignments turned in. Dreading this exam I got coming up and I can’t help but see this sense of relief once that last thing is done to signify the completion of the semester. Usually it’s an exam. The blue book you buy at the bookstore, writing your name on the cover that lets the instructor know that you are attempting the exam they’ve prepared. Walking out the building, the same building you’ve been walking in and out for the past five months. Or is it when the time runs out and what you got is what you got?
The hectic atmosphere we get ourselves in, when we take on these challenges. Always good to stay, “cool as cucumber” as these times start to get overbearing and challenging. Keeping calm is probably the most suitable answer for all the things I’m facing with the chapter in my life closing. So chill. How will me making a fuss solve anything? Get it done. Do some food meditation. Cool as a cucumber intuition. Keep things under control.
Cool as cucumber is not always easy to attain, if you know what I mean. I guess in the case of my niece Elexis when we visit our Grandmother, which is E-girl’s Great-Grandma, always fun to see the dynamics of our family when all four generations are being represented. I mean Elexis is still so young and has not really paid any attention to what makes my Grandma tick. She is oblivious to all the rules and customs that my brother and I had to learn growing up. So when we visit my Grandma with E-girl, I’m already just anticipating something to happen or to break.
My grandma’s house is laid out in a particular way. Everything is in its chosen place, all the glass and ceramic figurines. These are my grandma’s collections and precious items. I personally would never touch anything, just because I’m not bothering Grandma’s stuff. So pretty much everything in my Grandma’s house is capable of being broken by us or even worse, E-girl.
Those ceramic figurines and porcelain ornaments are just toys to Elexis. So the time frame from when we walk into my Grandmas house to the moment when we walk out the door, I have my eye on E-girl. And it is so scary. Because she takes the different figurines and slams them on the table, playing with them like they’re her plastic toys. And to make things even more daunting, My Grandma has these Christmas ornaments that are just on the ledge of this two inch self. Elexis has to tippy toe just to reach certain ones. But she uses the ledge as a playground for the newly found toys. Them being potentially broken is not a concern of E-girl’s.
I know E-girl means no harm and I’m just trying to keep the peace. But being able to stay cool as cucumber when all I’m seeing is Elexis passionately smashing the figurines together is impossible. It’s nerve racking because I don’t know how my Grandma will respond to E-girl if something breaks or happens. There is just worry and concern on my end of things going bad. I know it sounds silly but I want things to go well.
Staying calm in those situations, is tricky. Whatever happens happens. And out all those times visiting nothing has been broken. Knock on wood. I just have to hold my breath when I’m there with E-girl. My grandma wasn’t mean but more like strict with us growing up. We respected her wishes and acted the way she wanted us to act. I love my Grandma and she has taught me so many things in my life. But she can be intense if things go wrong, or if things happened when they could have been prevented. She is just someone you don’t like to see discouraged. So that might say more to the reason why I don’t want E-girl to break anything of my grandmas. I guess I would feel semi-responsible for it all. I need to be a really cool cucumber if I take E-girl to see her Great Grandma.
You know my Grandma was a lot younger when I was a child. E-girl is not getting the version I got. And I keep forgetting she is not the Grandma, she is the Great-Grandma. The dynamics of the family are shifting. We all got symbolically promoted. Of course I’m the fun Uncle buck. And my Grandma got a “great” added to her title. So maybe if something were to break, she wouldn’t get as mad or even care. We shall see.
My Grandma the person that cooked for me my whole life is still going at it in the kitchen. She still even makes tortillas, but in O’odham it’s called Cemait. Which is challenging in itself. I can’t make cemait. So when I get to have cemait at my grandmas, it’s just the icing on the cake.
Elexis is fortunate to taste the cemait made by her Great-Grandmother’s. All of us connected through food. Wow how about that? I think someone is cutting onions because I am crying for no apparent reason.
I am going to be one with the cucumber.