Return of the Grinch, the holidays are among us. The christmas spirit is toxic happiness spreading like germs, green and red ones. I am not anti-holiday-guy, I am more of a why-are-we-celebrating-this-holiday-again-guy. Perhaps “Grinch” is a correct term to describe the way I approach the seasons.
I learn lessons each year so I really shouldn’t complain about these holidays. But let me dive deeper into the why my Scrooge jeans fit so tight. I love the idea of giving gifts and showing love and appreciation to the ones I am close to. Who doesn’t want a gift?
All I’m saying is that everyday should feel and be like Christmas. We don’t need a holiday to show the ones we love how much we care. The spirit of christmas should never end. Showing that appreciation for individuals that impact your life is a gift. Besides the idea of getting or giving a gift, sharing moments of gratitude is a kind of expression felt in your soul.
Is it too much to be jolly all year?
The ideas of life and ways of acting in big moments are never certain. I guess a real and meaningful moment can only last for seconds in reality. Although, my memory of that small timeframe can be replayed in the mental for the rest of my life. And your in the interview chair getting questioned not by anyone else, but it is the self evaluating alternative outcomes for those large moments. Did that make sense?
There are strong moments that I come across and maybe at the end, I can think back about better ways of phrasing what was within. I can time travel and fix my mental but then that will only give me another chance to rethink everything. Changes and chances come and go but how can I become closer to the one inside trying to express something great. I should have said it differently…
The biggest problem is that thinking or not thinking, you are constantly learning about yourself. And reliving those moments can be beneficial if you are concentrating on improving. Understanding the self is key but by learning about my actions in these moments I’m able to feel free of it being over. The mind works in mysterious ways and I can be limiting myself to what is possible by not evaluating what I have experienced so far. At least something was said…
Taking apart those certain moments are not always fun. Maybe because it is realizing that things aren’t perfect. The afterthoughts are food for thought. The content that will prepare me for what else is on my plate, so eat everything up.
“Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.” — Sylvia Plath
The double edged sword is sharp and dull, all in all the mental state and being in control of knowing theres no control in various situations ahead. There are dangers and evils that come from both, wanting everything or wanting nothing. I think Biggie said it best: Mo’ Money Mo’ problems. There is this certain type of appreciation for what you already have. Everything I have is all I’ll ever need. But…but what if I want something else? I can attain more than I was given. I can have it all. Powers and possessions. Having it all at all costs. I just must be aware of the responsibilities that follow. The solutions I need to be scheming in order to keep what I feel entitled to own. Chasing a destiny that can be never enough because we will continue to want more. So much more that you forgot what it was that was driving you to want more. It’s almost like having too much can cause you to lose appreciation for maybe the simple things you can posses in life. Wanting nothing and being content with what you have can also be harmful to the point of limiting myself to what is possible in the world.
Live by the sword die by the sword. Protecting what you have or chasing after riches you can never own. The mind is the best weapon. And if your using that to it’s best capabilities then you can face dangerous situations with a brave face.
A small box I strum
To find songs deep down the throat of a boy
As we spread light to blue roads to see days clear
The chord was one I made up to sound like yours
Noise for the sweet grief slow to ease
I’ve notice that I retell the same story and yet with the right wording the story can be something new and exciting. Remembering certain details to the tale, maybe characters that made appearances in the prelude you forgot to mention. The stories that end are really only beginnings for other journeys to be told.
The blog was just this project that grew into something else important for me to tend to. I see it as my trophy for effort. I just kept running with it and continue to still see what other topics I can be addressing within. I do feel like a broken record at times by always having the same message, the way of phrasing my inner thoughts can sound repetitive. I think as a writer your constantly trying to get better and somehow still remain simple, humble. It’s tough to constantly find new ways of saying the same thing. Although we have the ability to express the soul, often times it can just be the tongue tied.
Inspiration, writer’s block, there are these elements of distraction and even false motivation to be dealt with. I deal with writer’s block everyday and at the end of the day I can really only blame me for thinking excuses make the situation any better. The reasons of why things didn’t get finished can take up time. Time that could have been used wisely but only got spent thinking rather than doing.
I never though writing and creating a blog would be something I would spend my days doing. Since I’ve started the blog it’s been very rewarding for me to experience. Even if I have one reader, even if I just write haikus about the holidays, the release of this energy transferred from my brain to the computer is just awesome. I write the blog really not knowing what a blog could be. That’s what impresses me most about having a blog, I can be part of this vast community and still feel I have something unique to offer this world I know little about.
Utilizing the voice to get exactly what I need done. The blog is practice for life. I write for the sake of knowing that writing can solve or start problems. It is this place for me to draw ideas via the internet. It is all these things and more. I think everyday I’m more open to what a blog post can bring and by staying almost unaware for what comes next. Being able to go back to the original storyline and finding new insights to ponder, I just enjoy digging for ways to express what is coming from inside.
I have the fondest memories of the greatest nights, the infamous Taco Nights are what kept me happy growing up. Good food that was prepared by the loveliest individuals in my life. I may have mentioned in previous posts but there are two types of tacos in my philosophy, soft and hard.
Hard tacos are my favorite, I have no problem with soft tacos. Hard tacos just resonate passion in my taste buds. Maybe it’s the grease combining together the meat and shell. Whatever it is that has my belly satisfied, hard tacos get me tingly.
My Aunty Rachel was the one who showed me what a taco could be. Her hard tacos just filled my heart with joy. I’m able to make them now, well a version of how she makes hers. Good food equals good times. The definition of Taco Night was established at my Aunty’s, so I’m only trying to do her tacos justice. She would make enough tacos to fill two big cake pans. We would scarf down those tacos and laugh about what the time was bringing us.
Our older cousins gave us a preview of the world, they were like a decade ahead of us. My brother and I had a lot to learn from them during those nights, trading stories getting full from the tacos. It was a bonding experience now that I think about it, we all had something to face the next day. School and work in the morning. What else is new?
Fast forward to the now and my brother asks if I can make some hard tacos for dinner. My niece is hungry and we got the ingredients for a Taco Night. We sat at the table and then realized that a long time had gone by without us making tacos. It was a refreshing reminder about how much the specific tastes of our foods can make things better. Life, the day, the week, the night, the next day(leftovers), and just the overall spirit of being human. Great flavors ponder the memory and these Taco Nights connect me to the ones that mean the most. Food for thought.
Icing we forgot
To put on the cake, oh my
How about now, what about?