DO Versus BO? That Is The Question… part one

(Clayton and Felix are talking in the living room)

Clayton: I was at the supermarket earlier and I needed to buy arm deodorant. I was blown away by the selection. 

Felix: What kind did you end up getting?

Clayton: I didn’t get one, I still have a good week left in my old deordorant. I’ll ride that one out, I’m good.

I mean they had like ten brands, those brands have like thirty flavors. They got the ones with gel, and the creamy kind. I perfer the creamy, but it always marks my clothes. I’m walking around with white stains on my shirt. The gel is too slimy.

(Rob enters the room)

Hey Rob what kind of deodorant do you use?

Rob: I don’t use any.

Felix: No Old Spice?

Rob: Nada

Clayton: Right Gaurd?

Rob: All natural, baby!

Clayton: Do you use soap at least.

Rob: Hey! We’re getting to personal, why all the commotion about my hyegine?

Felix: Clayton couldn’t come to a decision on arm deodorant, so now we’re listening to the stand up material for that situation.

Rob: Well, what arm deodorant do you use Felix?

Felix: I don’t remember the name of the brand.

(Rob sniffs closer to Felix)

Rob: You’re wearing ladies arm deodorant!

Felix: What! Are you sipping the crazy juice. No, I wear men’s arm deodorant. Where do you get these silly ideas.

(Clayton sniffs too)

Clayton: You do smell flowery sometimes.

What is this deodorant your using?

Felix: Okay! Yes, I use Lady’s Speed Stick. It’s peach and it smells wonderful. Get off my back.

Rob: I’m not making fun of you, yeah I bet it gets hot wearing those heavy blouses.

Felix: Atleast I wear deodorant.

Rob: It all works to my advantage.

Felix: What stinking it up for the rest of us?

Rob: Science!

Clayton: Eleborate please. 

Rob: Bugs and animals all need to mate in order to survive, they give off their smells and scents to their mate.

Felix: And this is related to our discussion, how?

Rob: Your only perfuming up those natural scents and smells. The chemicals are covering up our natural juices. These scents will attract a partner. 

Clayton: So by not washing and not using deodorant, I’m somehow more likely to find a mate.

Rob: Bingo! All natural, that’s how it’s suppose to be.

Clayton: Maybe you like walking around in your own stank, but I’m just trying to find one that does the job.

Rob: Hey Felix, do you have any lady speed stick in your purse?

Felix: Knock it off!


Mixtape For The Summer Youth

You know it’s time that we

Grow old and do some shit

Cursive – The Great Decay

In Pieces – A Miracle

Scarface/2 pac – Smile

Lil Wayne – Nightmares of the Bottom

Broken Social Scene – Lover’s Spit

The summer days are among us and the youngsters are all out of school. I kept busy during the summer as a kid, I think this post is more about the music and what I jammed during the school days. This is a short playlist of the music I rocked in middle school, high school, and even in college. Not all the music I had in my earbuds, but a good way to kickoff a series of mixtapes for the blog. I have survived quite a few summers in my life. It’s weird though maybe because I’m not in school and I have a open schedule but the summer became this abstract sense of time, when school was done. I want to enjoy it but I also don’t want to be careless with it. You know making that transition of going back to school from vacation and then back to school was easy because I had the music.

I discovered the band Cursive in high school, they had a few great albums that I rocked. The song great decay was on the Burst and Bloom ep, the electric guitars and screaming made Cursive raw sounding. It wasn’t too heavy and yet the lyrics were still striking your soul. The back up vocals gave the lead singer a storyteller depth on that tracks. It was during this time when they were calling bands “emo,” but this was the sound I needed for my heart-on-my-sleeve attitude.

The Lions Write History album had come out, and it was a new sounding In Pieces. This album came out right after I graduated High School, so I remember having it on repeat the summer before I moved to Tempe for college. I had a job at the gas station and could listen to this album from start to end. The track a miracle was the intro song to the album and this was the music for this new chapter in my life(adulthood.)

Going back to the middle school days, I was always into hip-hop and 2 pac was just inspiring to hear. He was talking tough but their was sincere content about actual struggles people were dealing with. You know the time from when 2 pac was in jail to time he passed away, pac was working like crazy. His work ethic gave him a living legacy, he made music and movies, wrote poetry. He just was an amazing individual and definitely made me alert and aware of my surroundings. In middle school I was bumping a lot of rap and r & b.

Lil’ Wayne came in handy for me, during this haitus I took from college. You know Wayne was doing some cool stuff that I had never seen before. The self proclaimed Greatest Rapper Alive, he was making tons of music. A new age when everything was on the Internet and at the touch of your finger tips. Wayne just utilized these resources to his best advantage. One of the more memorable reads in college was The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz was giving me a clearer way of seeing life and  showing me techniques to better handling my day-to-day experiences. The fourth agreement in the book is to always do your best. You may not be the most qualified in every situation, although if I apply my best efforts then I’m not leaving anything for second guessing or debate afterwards. Bringing that back to hip-hop, you have several individuals trying to prove they the best. I felt Wayne was living that one agreement, by him saying, and showing that confidence, it just intrigued me to hear this guy rap. Nightmares of the bottom was released after Wayne was in prison and there are references to that situation in the verses.

Lover’s Spit was this slow anthem on my iPod. Broken Social Scene was a band that I heard in High School, yet it pretty muched kept me grounded during the college years. I would get complaints from my neighbors because I had that album blasting every morning. The sounds that they were using transcended me to an electronic fairy tale with delay and reverb filling the forest of music. Broken Social Scene got me through some tough times and I wanted them to end the tape.

E-Girl And The Yellow Blue Bird

During one of our family road trips, we stopped off at this street fair event. I don’t know what that event was for, all I know is that there was a lot of people and my niece wanted to have her picture taken with this huge macaw. It was yellow and had light blue wings, it was a big bird. We all were hesitant about the idea, probably because we were all scared of this exotic bird. With those huge claws, and that beak, I myself was more comfortable watching the macaw from a distance. The tv from the couch to be exact.

The guy placed the macaw on her shoulder and the cameraman began to give her posing commands. Taking multiple pictures of this wild creature hanging out on my niece’s shoulder. She was a natural with this bird, at least it seemed at first. Then the bird had maybe gotten restless but it flapped its wings and moved his head closer to Elexis. He took off her glasses and my niece was the calmest out of all us.

Intrigued by the close interaction, she didn’t seem to mind that the macaw had done that. It was like if a celebrity were to compliment you on something you were wearing. I think that was how she took the gesture of the bird doing such a thing. I was in shock by her bravery and I had to rethink the things that scare me.

Kids be making me think.

The Blind Date

I couldn’t believe I agreed to this, this wasn’t me, this wasn’t something I did, I was against the idea. The notion of being setup was like watching guilt and humiliation hanging out together, as they write a play or sitcom. This was a role I did not prepare for, only because I never could find any inner motivation. No reliable resource inside this soul.

Who signs up for an event of such a shameful possibility? Besides me of course. I was being setup with a possible manic, maybe a preacher, What if she is this holier than thou religious, soulless, heartless witch? I don’t know any spells or witch craft, I’m not a wizard. I didn’t attend Hogwarts, I live in Arizona. I went to a public school and got decent grades, I didn’t need to buy an owl for my homework.

Incoming Call: Big Bro

Hey, where you at?

Im driving to the place, about 5 minuets away.

Ok, so she is already at the restaurant. She said she will be sitting on a bench.

What kind of bench?

A standard one, I don’t know she didn’t get into specifics.

Well there are many kinds of benches, and what did you actually say about me to her?

That’s really not relevant right now. Just be yourself and let the charm ride. Everything will fall into place.

Let the charm ride.

I’m so excited for you.

Call Ends.

I finally gave in, after countless offers and suggestions, I was meeting someone new. This was a blind date. I normally dodged the setup and just listen to the I think you guys would make a good couple/ You guys would look cute together. All this propaganda gets feed to you; someone I trust and believe is playing love monopoly with my life. Rolling the dice and hoping not to end up in jail.

I think everyone, once in a while gets a powerful false sense of power. All of a sudden we want to be Cupid the match maker, I’m going to get these two people to fall in love. And if they are successful then they can say Yeah I got those two together. All in all, if this date goes well, my friend gains bragging rights. I’m not some hopeless romantic, I don’t need training wheels for life or love.

This could all be a prank for all I know. My friend has a sick sense of humor, that’s why they’re my friend. They probably got some stranger on craigslist to play a catch. This blind date was sounding like a bad idea. And how the hell can I suddenly be cute when standing next to someone? Maybe that’s not such a wonderful trait, I don’t really need to be cute. I’m good with how I look already, thank you very much.

There was a struggling marachi group playing mexican love songs outside the restaurant. A guitar case laid on the cement, filled with crinkled dollar bills and enough change to buy a decent meal from the dollar menu. Kids selling jewelry and gum along the walkway to the front. The evening was holding its flare and the restaurant lights were preparing the people for night. The cool breeze did comfort me as I look for this bench. This famous bench, where it could all go wrong.

And there she was….