DO Versus BO? That Is The Question… part one

(Clayton and Felix are talking in the living room)

Clayton: I was at the supermarket earlier and I needed to buy arm deodorant. I was blown away by the selection. 

Felix: What kind did you end up getting?

Clayton: I didn’t get one, I still have a good week left in my old deordorant. I’ll ride that one out, I’m good.

I mean they had like ten brands, those brands have like thirty flavors. They got the ones with gel, and the creamy kind. I perfer the creamy, but it always marks my clothes. I’m walking around with white stains on my shirt. The gel is too slimy.

(Rob enters the room)

Hey Rob what kind of deodorant do you use?

Rob: I don’t use any.

Felix: No Old Spice?

Rob: Nada

Clayton: Right Gaurd?

Rob: All natural, baby!

Clayton: Do you use soap at least.

Rob: Hey! We’re getting to personal, why all the commotion about my hyegine?

Felix: Clayton couldn’t come to a decision on arm deodorant, so now we’re listening to the stand up material for that situation.

Rob: Well, what arm deodorant do you use Felix?

Felix: I don’t remember the name of the brand.

(Rob sniffs closer to Felix)

Rob: You’re wearing ladies arm deodorant!

Felix: What! Are you sipping the crazy juice. No, I wear men’s arm deodorant. Where do you get these silly ideas.

(Clayton sniffs too)

Clayton: You do smell flowery sometimes.

What is this deodorant your using?

Felix: Okay! Yes, I use Lady’s Speed Stick. It’s peach and it smells wonderful. Get off my back.

Rob: I’m not making fun of you, yeah I bet it gets hot wearing those heavy blouses.

Felix: Atleast I wear deodorant.

Rob: It all works to my advantage.

Felix: What stinking it up for the rest of us?

Rob: Science!

Clayton: Eleborate please. 

Rob: Bugs and animals all need to mate in order to survive, they give off their smells and scents to their mate.

Felix: And this is related to our discussion, how?

Rob: Your only perfuming up those natural scents and smells. The chemicals are covering up our natural juices. These scents will attract a partner. 

Clayton: So by not washing and not using deodorant, I’m somehow more likely to find a mate.

Rob: Bingo! All natural, that’s how it’s suppose to be.

Clayton: Maybe you like walking around in your own stank, but I’m just trying to find one that does the job.

Rob: Hey Felix, do you have any lady speed stick in your purse?

Felix: Knock it off!

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Author: storiesfrommystomach

I am from a Village called South Komelik on the Tohono O'odham Nation. I enjoy poetry and philosophy. Hope you enjoy the blog! :)

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