DO Versus BO? That Is The Question… part two

(Felix and Clayton are sitting down getting lunch)

Felix: What did you order again?

Clayton: The club and onion rings, their club sandwich is amazing. You can’t go wrong with it.

Felix: I’m reconsidering the salad.

Clayton: You already made the order. 

Felix: I know but maybe they haven’t started to make the salad. It wouldn’t be that rude, right?

Clayton: Major faux pas, my friend. You got the salad, just take the damn salad.

Felix: Ok, I’ll take the salad.

Clayton: I’m sorry, I don’t care about the salad, what I’m really concerned about is this lady speed stick fetish. (chuckles)

Come on details. Let’s start from the beginning. I want the uncut version please.

Felix: Alright, alright. I borrowed some from my mom one time, and I liked it. So I buy it from time to time. 

Clayton: You’re lying, come on tell the truth. This is sitting on the couch your safe therapy time Felix. Get it off your chest son. 

Felix: Ok, I was dating this girl and when we split, she had left a lady speed stick at the pad. I was running low, you know how that feels, so I used it up. It was summer, probably the best summer of my life, I used it up real good.

And these ladies products are more potent with the scents. You know it’s refreshing and rewarding to get these flamboyant smells from my pits. I was hooked to the stick.

Clayton: This onion has many layers, okay session over.

(The food arrives and Jess walks in with bags)

Jess: Hey guys, what’s for lunch, what can I eat from your plate this evening.

Clayton: I’ll break you off a few of my onion rings.

Jess: Cool, I just saw Rob at the store, he said you were having some kind of hygiene emergency.

 (Jess orders)

I’ll just be getting pie, peach if you have it.

Felix: What else did Rob say to you?

Jess: Rob talks a lot and sometimes you just zone out in the middle of the conversation. He did say something about  how he likes to go all natural, whatever that means.

I just had a long day and needed a pick-me-up.

Felix: Aww, we’re your pick-me-up?

Jess: I see you guys and not feel so bad about my stuff, I think to myself, my life is good and on track. It’s not off in some ditch somewhere.

Clayton: Glad we can help.

Felix: What was Rob doing at the store?

Jess: You know we got caught up in talking, I didn’t see what he was carrying or buying.

Felix: He was probably buying some organic horse shampoo.

Clayton: I still don’t know if the guy showers.

Jess: You know Felix, if you think the peach flavor is good, wait until you try ocean sunsets. It’s like perspiring in heaven. Now I remember what Rob was saying.

Felix: Damn him.


Author: storiesfrommystomach

I am from a Village called South Komelik on the Tohono O'odham Nation. I enjoy poetry and philosophy. Hope you enjoy the blog! :)

2 thoughts on “DO Versus BO? That Is The Question… part two”

  1. Hahahaha Felix’s news is spreading more and more! Now Jess knows, which makes it funnier because the bro’s were teasing him, now the ladies may! Ha!

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