Taking Candy From A Baby Is Wrong?

You know growing up being the older sibling came with some pressure. I only have one younger brother  but he was always a handful. I mean he was a Gemini roaring growing up, never really following trends. He was always off doing his own thing, so maybe it wasn’t such a tough job being the older brother.

Thinking back of a similpler time and it was actually like my brother and I were good friends rather than siblings. Although I can also argue that in my lifetime my brother takes on the “older” brother role. I don’t pull the older brother card anymore, it’s invalid because eventhough I may not agree with him on everything, I still respect and honor his opinion because we’re so close. Brothers.

I remember this one time when me, my brother, and our friend Kurtis went to this huge arcade place. We were given the trust of going on our own to go play games while our parents went shopping. And since I was the oldest, I was the one in charge. My brother and Kurtis were told to follow my directions, responsibilities just handed out like tokens to the arcade. 

Maybe I didn’t expect it to be such a big deal. It was my little brother and our friend Kurtis, what could go wrong? 

We walk into the arcade and these guys just go crazy, their so excited and hyped, I need to be the one to tell them to calm down and don’t be climbing on that. It all worked out and we played a lot of video games, yet it was a bizzare wake up call. It was like I could feel the responsibility growing on my skin that day.

My brotherly instincts tell me that eventhough we are able to enter this magical aracde, the behavior and the decisions we make determine the overall outcome of the experience. Just play smart bro. 


Wisdom 104: Discussion Question

How do you define the term “soulmate,” and do you believe in the existence of such a person — for you?
I am going to go deep, where my head went first when I saw the question. Currently in my life I am getting back into making music. I am working with a young group of guys that are a dark rock hip-hop project called Visual Doom. It’s more of a open universe to possibility. The core group started in high school but somewhere after that they met up with me and I became the “producer.”

I use the word lightly because I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing. And maybe that is why I enjoy it so much. They challenge me and they are inviting me into a huge moment in their life. So I’m learning and it’s been about two years since we linked up. 

You know but I am just a facilitator  for the guys. They’ve been writing and developing their own swag, yet these guys are talking about things relevant to the reservation life. Topics like alcohol use and sucide, just to name a few but sucide awareness was the topic of the song we were working on this past weekend.

I mean in sucide we lose someone, it’s a double realization because it’s two mortalities. The person gone and yourself, when they leave a bond still grows from it. And from my point of view these young men are spilling their guts, it’s messages from these situations of sucide. You know something we might deal with in our time. I mean no harm when I say this, it’s just a unknown thing about life.

We lose people important in our lives and these guys are speaking about those connections. I mean whatever relationship they had, it is inspiring this voice to talk about what suicide looks like from their perspective. I mean these connections are meaningful and I would even consider it being a soulmate relationship.

I think the term “soulmates” can be something other than a romantical relationship. I mean we connect to people throughout our lives and not everyone one can groove the same. So what I’m saying is that, yes, I do believe in the term soulmate. And I believe if your are blessed then you might have a couple. Get it. 

The soul is unique, it has layers of truth within and to find a person that can entertain and move your soul is a special thing. 

Maybe my soul just gets around.

My Top 5 Home Essentials

You know they say home is where the heart is, and apperently there is no place like it. I think over time the meaning of a home blossomed in my world. I have always felt at home where ever I was living or staying, so it wasn’t like a house was any different from a home. It wasn’t till about three years ago when I got a better understanding of what it takes for me to feel at home. Our family house was finished and now I had a home in South Komlik. 

I had lived in apartments and teacher housing for my younger years. Ever since third grade I’ve been dabbling in musical instruments. The violin, saxophone, keyboard, but it wasn’t till the seventh grade when I started to gravitate towards the guitar. It was Nirvana, it was Cobain. I learned how to read tabs, memorized the main chords. I just needed one around me, I have a couple of acoustic guitars, couple electric, they just make me feel at home.

I don’t really consider myself a musician but music is just an element of my life that stays around me. I admire anyone that donates time to their craft or artwork. My home holds several art pieces inside. Yucca baskets, wire baskets, pottery, and paintings are scattered all over the house. These one of a kind works of art were either gifts or things I inherited, yet the house would not be the same without them. The painting my dad did hangs in the living room and always gets a reaction from anyone who inquires about the acrylic mountain and lake scenery.

Another essential thing about my home is my workspace, it seems I don’t utilize it as much as I should, it still means everything. My desk where I put all my notes and my computer where I write and record music. This small corner in my room is just this magical place where I keep all my work. It’s where I hang up my thank you cards and put important moments of my life to display. I have a certificate on the wall that reminds me of the time I went to Mexico with my instructor Phillip and they were calling me Sky Angelo. 

That time I went to Magdelena, the people were making a drink I had never had before. They used a type of flower and it reminded me of how at home I would make cinnamon tea. Boiling the cinnamon with the tea is a pastime of my life. Everywhere I lived, I made cinnamon tea, so this is something essential to my home. I even have a specific pot for the cinnamon tea. A pot that my mom says we stole from our Auntie Rachael. I guess the pot too, is an essential thing that makes this place a home. 

The final piece is all the photographs taken on family road trips. The ones of my niece where she is brave with the macaw. All the road trips out of state are so memorable but during those times of adventure, we always came home. I think it only takes a guitar, a pot, some art, a few great pictures of my family having crazy times out in the world to make a home.

Wisdom 103: Discussion Questions

Fears evolve over time. What is one fear you’ve conquered?
I have fear in me but how I deal with  “fear” has morphed over time. One of the benefits of adulthood is reconizing these changes or stages of realization(growth.) 

I think I am no longer fearful of the word “fear.” Yes, things can scare me but the idea of fear won’t help me in any way when it comes to solving the problem. 

I know I can’t use fear as an excuse to get through life. The longer the list of things I’m fearful of, then the less open I am to what’s available. I mean their are things like death, public speaking, heartache, spiders I can be fearful of, yet the fear really isn’t anything but imaginary. 

I say all this with confidence…

The public speaking deal, I have to play Devil’s advocate, the words we use ultimately reflects the inside no one can see. Then to be specifically put on the spot to speak coherent sentences to an audience flawlessly. Regardless of the horrible delivery possibilities, there is still the thoughts and judgment of the ones paying attention.

Our reflections are sacred and to be looked down on or to be made fun of is not something we want to deal with. What’s sad is that it’s easier to poke and make fun of, compared to putting yourself out there for ridicule and opposition.

Sometimes you just have say what you got to say and even if it’s poorly worded, the senserity and emotion will filter through. What anybody has to say or think is really nothing of your concern. Your voice is what truly matters when it comes to understanding fear.

Guitar Heros… Part 2…

(The gang is still discussing music.)

Felix: What about you guys? Who is your favorite guitar player and why we should nominated them for this imaginary award shindig?

Clayton: Where is the ceremony being held this year Felix?

Felix: Reno! But let’s not get off topic.

Jess: I would have to say Dimebag Darrell. He was like the John Lennon  of my generation. I mean he was fucken amazing at soloing, and he was always representing metal.

You know like John Lennon was taken from life when he still had much to give and I think the same way for Dimebag. The world lost a something special, it wasn’t the same when they left.

Felix: I can’t argue that answer and I had seen him play with Damageplan that same tour when he got shot. You know it’s so hard to see these guitar gods do things outside of what we know they’re great at, side projects or solo stuff, these individuals needs other outlets. 

I was freaked out seeing him play not Pantera songs and he was having a fun time. There was rejuvination in the air and like you said he was always holding it down for the heaviness. Great guitar player. Rob?

Rob: Jimmy Page, easily is just a guitar guru. I mean there is so many riffs and solos this guy has written, the solos and riffs in stairway to heaven are out of this world. That tone or sound Page crafted with his guitar, it was like my soul was being lifted by the strings.

The thing about the guitar solo is that it’s like a song within a song, the guitar solo just transforms a song. Jimmy Page was like communicating with the noises and his axe was preaching in the sounds.

Felix: Jimmy Page lost me when he did that song with Puff Daddy for the Gozilla soundtrack. They just ruined that Zepplin tune for me, I was not impressed.

Clayton: Hey the dude has to feed his family. Let P Diddy dance to that riff all he wants. Atleast he’s getting paid brother.

Jess: Damn Diddy did the silly dance on some classic jams. I can’t decide if I’m ok with that but do your thing too Puff.

Felix: Puffy ain’t play guitar so why we talking about him. 

Jess: I think that can be another topic. Which hip-hop pop artist/song has the best guitars or guitar players?

Felix: Not Puff Daddy.

Rob: The Michael Jackson song Beat It has Eddie Van Halen playing the iconic guitar lick. That little cool solo at the end. Man, they mixed that track superb.  

Jess: You know I think Lauryn Hill is my choice, just because she held it down with the Fuggee’s being a singer/rapper. But she also can rock the guitar. How many rappers able to just breakout a classical guitar and own it? She is a guitar player.

Clayton: The Aerosmith and Run DMC song Walk This Way comes to mind first. But I always thought the Beastie Boys used the guitar to give them a alternative sound.

Felix: He played guitars on the track but  he did the vocals as well. Lil’ Wayne On Fire is just an awesome track. He samples the song from Scarface but he turns it into this guitar universe. I know it’s not just Wayne but he has great producers and they killed that track.

Clayton: I propose we take a shot to anyone that has ever picked up a guitar and made it their own. 

Rob: I’ll drink to that. 

Clayton: Hey Felix you think any of our Guitar Heros will show up to the showcase.
Felix: If we book them they will come.

Jess: Ok we’re cutting off Felix.