Life Hakiu

Do I deserve you, 

Do I deserve happiness ,

Option are romantic.


Brain Food For Sale…

Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling. – Carl Jung

You ever hear the saying knowledge is knowing that a tomato is fruit, but wisdom is knowing not put a tomato in a fruit salad. Obviously the tomato is very veggie like, a tomato can stand tall next to a carrot or lettuce and fit in with the gang. But putting some tomatoes in a fruit salad, now that is just absurd. Put a tomato in a fruit salad and see if you feel like a genius.

The Cookie Crumbled Not How I Thought It Would..

I’m waiting for destiny to text or call, hollar at ya boy, let me know what’s up with us. The best piece advice given to me was from an poetry professor, near the end of the College Years, I got to ask her for words of encouragement, she says know the difference between making a compromise and being compromised. I go back to that moment every now and then, those were some goodtimes, and back then we’d considered the goodtimes hard times. The perception of the current moment is slowly transforming, I need to see things in a clear view.

I have been trying to follow that advice, there has been challenges that have made me a better person, and there are things in my life that I know still need work. New opportunities come and I must be willing to adjust, I believe change is just transitioning into what was already meant to be. We live in this evolving world, the impact we make is due to taking that chance given in our timeline. Mistakes are just as beneficial as the best decisions, it’s really the individual not afraid to take on new opportunities. I have learned more about compromises, but being compromised is something maybe I haven’t got enough time to experience. 

I must give myself the chance to operate at full capacity, and how can I test my limits if I’m not taking on any new challenges. I think we get too concerned about the outcome that we hinder any chance of seeing anything spectacular. Life is tough, but that almost as nothing to do with being vulnerable and open-hearted to what the world can offer. And that’s not even suggesting that you could bring some kind of enlightenment to the world’s experience in the time that we’re given. 

The cookie crumbles unexpectedly, but what did you offer to that crumbling if you stayed in a safe place where your limited in what you could offer. At the end of the day, I need to be accountable about what I could offer, I must be proud about what I bring to the table in the grand scheme of things. Be open to the obstacles and even more open to what you have within that could change the entire picture.

It’s Not Me, It’s You…

It feels like we’re near the end of a story and the next saga will begin right after, I’m ready for that next episode but I also want to squeeze out all the momentum out of this tale I am in now.  Ending on a good note, is that always the best option, especially if the story is more intriguing with some trauma. They say when one door closes another will open, and I believe this is true, yet how do we know the next door isn’t anymore better. There should be an update to sayings when one door closes another will open, but before entering, do consider what you want out of the experience. I am trying to get a better grip of what I’ve always had within.

I am Basketball enthusiast, I am ready for the season to play out. This topic is about Kyrie and I admire the guy for wanting to depart from his place on Cleveland and wanting to take on a new role that allowed himself to be operating at full capacity. And we’re in a media driven world, there’s content on content and it was portrayed on screen that Irving was a step lower in ranking. Much respect to Lebron for raising that bar but Kyrie seems very cool, collective, everyone operates differently. It was a mature decision because it was way different than another superstar being traded to a team that is already winning championships. The possibilities are that Kyrie could get Boston to the ship, he definitely has to raise the bar high for himself. Although not as high as Lebron does, a new season with new relationships, I’m waiting…

I have been playing more often, during my lunch, I’ll meet up with the squad and we’ll play 3-5 games of 21. There was a bit of a drought a few months back, I wasn’t playing, there were other things in the way. But once I started back up again I was reminded of the inner confidence you need to have to be on the court. I get to compete on all these levels with my friends, I’m soaked in sweat by the end of the session, I feel a lot better too, it’s my medicine. When we play we semi trash talk, we’ll it’s more sarcastic commentary. I might steal a win here or there, it’s just apart of the game.

I think there will be things constantly opening and closing, it is our own efforts in the transition that creates the present. The true gift is the time I am given to start and end chapters, the narrative lives on in another adventure. There is always that next step or that response to another opportunity knocking at my door.  We get numerous chances if we’re lucky, the challenges can be tough, yet there is only one option but to try. 

Fish In The Sea Talk

Lynn – Hey John, how’s it going?

John – I am doing ok, just broke up with my girlfriend, but I’m owning it.

Lynn – Sorry to hear that my friend, but I didn’t even know you were dating anyone. How long has this been going on?

John – A month. 

Lynn – Just a month, man you’ll be ok. There’s plenty of fish in the sea, just give it a few days. Watch some Gilmore Girls and it will be like nothing happened.

John – I’m not too sure I can handle love to that magnitude. It just leads to even more heatburn. 

Lynn – You mean “heartache.”

John – There’s heartache and it makes me feel a burn in my heart. 

Lynn – You’re exxagerating right? Because if there’s some kind of burn, you might get that checked out by a specialist.

John – I am exxagerating for the sake of justifying love and what is happening in my love life at the moment. But my heart is good, tip top shape. 

Lynn – You see, your heart is good, therefore everything is going to be ok. 

John – There is a Nirvana lyric in the song Something in the way that goes it’s okay to eat fish because they don’t have any feelings. Are they talking about the same fish in the sea where there is plenty?

Lynn – The plenty of fish in the sea is remembering that there are other love interests out there is this ocean of a home. Swimming and surviving.

John – Yes! But if the fishes don’t have feelings then I, as a consumer, a fisher man, another fish, do I only want a catch for the sake of the moment. Or do I want to actually capture something that will be lasting. If possible in the sea of life we live, wandering in the universe and searching for that opportunity to taste love.

Lynn – Well let me answer your question with a question, do you feel like you-yourself need to be the hunter, maybe there is a piece of you that wants to be caught. Instead of you doing the catching, just let yourself get caught.

John – Strangly that makes sense, I can’t rush art, I can only let it occur as it is ready to unveil itself. I must be patient, I must be unaware. The worst could only be the best to come. 

Lynn – Preach my brotha.

John – I am feeling a lot better thanks this chat really helped me get my thoughts organized.
Lynn – Anytime, so what you got planned next.

John – I’m thinking I need swimming lessons.

Status Pending….

I feel fall, I felt it, fall has suddenly wrapped its mood on my heart. 29 falls and I still gain something new from the current season in session. I have something spectacular in my hand, I can’t misplace it or forget it. 

I was on the UofA campus this past Friday for work, and I got a thrill being back on my stomping grounds. I got mistaken for a student as I waited in one of the office buildings at the university. It was compliment when the lady admitted that she thought I was a student waiting to be helped, I got that old feeling. Declaring a major, studying in the library, all those college experiences that made me feel like a student. The energy of the UofA campus is chaotic, students going in every direction, the joyful interactions at the Union, they’re getting ready, everyone socializing about the now.

The pressure, the articulation of the individual studying, the feeling of completion. I will always love that time of my life, the College Years, it was such a long journey, yet the lessons and memories created from that time period helped me become who I am today.  Is it that time that I revisit that discussion, I know it would be beneficial if I earn a masters, but going to graduate school, am I ready?

Maybe having business at the campus wasn’t a big enough sign for me to rejoin the college kid gang. Staying up late cramming before finals, drinking coffee with beautiful people, when the time is right, I will start.

Life is a trip, you can only know so much, the real challenge is being able to let the unknown shine. I must be willing to admit that there are things I have no control over in this life. When graduate school sends me a text asking about me attending then I will consider going back, but right now I have projects and ideas keeping me busy, I ain’t waiting for no message from graduate school saying they wanna get together with me. I am doing just fine going steady with the real world.

I feel my maturity hasn’t graduated from it’s institution, so when that program is completed, then I will apply.