The Hitchhiker 

It was a late, I was hanging out with a few friends in the city, still had to drive back to the Rez. I had driven home late before, so I wasn’t scared or unfamiliar with the road. And trust me that road can be tedious if you ain’t on it everyday. It’s cold too, I go the speed limit and keep my eyes on the road. 

The change on scenery on the way home, there’ the bright lights of the city’s stores and traffic. Then the more dimmer lights of the living rooms in the suburb homes. The distant lights from the quiet airport to the side, planes going nowhere. Border town electricity and pumpkin fields breathing. Then I am on the land.

There is a young girl off to the side of the road with her hand in the air, which is the universal sign for I need a ride or help. It was late and freezing, I would have felt bad if I hadn’t stopped. There might not be anybody headed in this direction, I pull over.  I roll my window down and ask where’s she headed, luckily it’s a village near mine. She gets in the back of the car and we get on the road. 

Growing up, giving people rides was a family tradition, from time to time you might need to pick up someone. I’ve been picked up many times, always remember getting in these unknown rides with my dad going somewhere, we didn’t have a vehicle, we just had to get out there. Thumbs up.

I didn’t struggle to have a conversation with the girl, all she said was that she needed to see her sister. I just thought maybe she had gone through something not worth discussing. I wasn’t trying to be dective, plus she was going to her sisters. I figure her sister could handle that particular part of the delimma. I’m just the uber. 

I am getting closer to her village and I start to ask which way do I turn? She doesn’t respond, I thought maybe she fell asleep, so I ask louder, where do I go? 

It’s quiet. I pull over and look in the back. No ones there. Alone.

I’m freaking out, but I don’t want to be pulled over on the side, so I get back on the road. I don’t want to have self doubt but it felt like there was something in the back of the car. How could I imagine something so vivid, I knew this was something other…

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RezField – Potential Baby Momma Drama

“Geri just found out that he might be a father, a fling sends him that one text that changes everything”

Jorge – Yo, what the heck is going on, you sounded so serious on the phone.

Geri – I needed someone to talk to, I get this text from a fling, she says that she is pregnant with my child. 

Jorge – You freaking out over that, do you believe her?

Geri – I believe that it could be a possibility, I mean I was partisipating, if you know what I mean.

Jorge – I know what you mean, and are you nuts?

Geri – Well I must have nuts if any of this is possible, not only do I have nuts, but they work too. An old man like me. 

Jorge – You may appear to be an old man, but you kinda shouldn’t be around kids. I know that sounds mean to say, I’m not saying anything. I’m just saying if this is true, you got a lot of growing up to do. 

Geri –  I hear you 100%, I’m not doubting your observation, I don’t know what a parent is suppose to do, I can barley parent myself. How does this even work, do I have to show my id. 

Jorge – What the fuck are you talking about, this ain’t jury duty, this is a huge responsibility. Are you listening father of the year, get it together. 

Geri – I need to figure this out. Thanks for the pep talk.

Jorge – There should be a standardized test for human beings, to determine if they are ready to have kids. Like how you get a drivers license, there would be classes a couple would need to take and pass.

Geri – Come on that won’t work, ain’t nobody going to sign up for a test to be a parent, there needs to be something, like a drug, a pill that you would need to take in order be knowledgeable about childhood and raising another human being.

Jorge – Yeah, its called birth control foo.

Geri – Hey Fuck you, I called you over for help. 

Jorge – Ok, what about the Mother? If this is your baby, are you going to make things good, are you ready to settle down?

Geri – I got mad love for this girl, but she might not feel the same way. I’m not even able to make a relationship work, how am I going to take care of a child. 

Jorge – Talking about it helps, actually finding out the truth would make all the difference in the world. Call her, hear her out. The kid doesn’t need you two to be together, they just need you two cooperating and working things out.

Geri – I hear you bro, this life situation really puts it all on the table. 

Jorge – I just can’t believe you to be the baby daddy in a scenario, I can see you as a step-dad maybe, but congratulations brother, you’ll know what to do when the time comes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ripetide Was The Love

stories from my stomach

Fear lives close because it influences the brain to be me. The voices whisper and the light within sparks choices in the dark. The closest ones to us, become lost in the game. This magic requires a gullible imagination.

Fear is funny like that because it can become unstuck.

The idea of love, is it glamorized in pop culture to a fault for setting unrealistic standards for the way people should act?

Throwing my coat over a puddle of mud so she don’t get her feet wet. I mean even though my nice jacket is ruined and we come across other puddles on the trail. These moments where I lose sight of the force and become something like my father. Love like he felt.

I made you a mixtape that defines how I feel about our souls being together. Each track has a similar storyline to how we should be…

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Suck My Opinion 

The sun is going faster, the presence of night welcomes winter into our lives. I’ll always remember what a professor said at the beginning of the fall semester. It will get dark. The course was in the evening and by the end of the semester, when class was ended, the campus was a somber park of buildings with students traveling to their next destination. The night is near and I must be wise with how I work with the light in the months to come.

I been waiting for the NBA to start, all the drama created about these trades, let these dudes play. One of the tip-off games was Boston and Cleveland, such a quick reunion between Kyrie and Lebron, how would the teams collide, perhaps a playoff series in the making. Celtics lose by three, Kyrie gets one last chance to get off a three pointer and comes a little short. All Kyrie’s former teammates on the Cavs acknowledge his performance once the game ended. Bittersweet, more sweet than bitter because it solidified Irving’s decision to leave Cleveland and be at full capacity in Boston. And with seconds left, as Kyrie grabs the rebound and gets one more opportunity to fire off a shot, Lebron is chasing him down as time runs out. The season is long and Boston is another team trying to earn a ring, Kyrie and Lebron both know what it takes, but who will actually get there this year?

Something grows out of a mistake, depending on the energy that follows the action. We have power in our words and in our actions, the things I say matter, I must be accountable for what comes out of my mouth and have the ability to justify all that I am doing in my life. Do what you say and say what your willing to back up when the times get tough. New roads may have a bumpy beginning, but what does that have to do with completing the journey ahead. Mistakes and wrong turns only get you to another destination of understanding, be the motivation behind the lesson, life gives you.

Rounding Off The Year – The Blueprint for 2017

Already mid October, downhill I am rolling in the universe, there are something’s that I need take care of before the year ends. It’s like a dominio effect, once Halloween begins, then comes Thanksgiving, Christmas is here, New Years too. I’m trying to squeeze out all I can for the year of 2017, this post is me trying to map it out.

I had experienced some bad things in 2007, it was challenging time for me and my family. I just remember having this intense feeling of being greatful, it just so happens to be on Halloween that day appreciation conquered me. Forever thankful for support, always going to remember that love everybody gave to me, I am only what was believed and thought of. I want to share that feeling with someone, before the year ends, I want to show another person how much they mean to the world.

The taste of tradition is bittersweet, we have this American holiday that paints this picture perfect history between people bonding through food. It’s a beautiful story and has transcended into this wonderful tradition in the world, but doesn’t quite fit the main narrative for Indigenous people co-existing on the land now known as America. I was analyzing my thoughts on the holiday, this was around the time our family moved into our new house, our first home. I was willing to celebrate because regardless of the history of the holiday, I know we are going to have a tasty feast by the end of the day. There will be leftovers too, I hope, Grandma is bringing her A game, how can I not partake in this wonderful dinner. Put the politics aside and just enjoy the grub. I want to have a meaningful meal with the ones I love, eat good food, laugh about life. I want to be the host to the best night of the year.

The phones must be charged, the computer has to be on and signed out, there are things to do. Yet, do we turn on the part of the brain that makes you thankful for being alive. I always struggle with gift giving on Christmas, I wait till the last minuet, or not everyone gets a gift, I’m not full filled in a weird way.  I want to do better, I know that I am greatful for whatever happens, the ones I care for deserve the best, puttting up with me, they deserve gold everything.

The speed of time is unpredictable, there are things we must be accountable for in life, you only get what you put in. There are things that cannot be seen, and it takes a visionary to create that picture. I may not get to finish everything I needed for the year, but I know If I’m lucky, I can try again next year.

 

Eyes Wided Open To Monday Morning

On the drive to Tucson, I am the passenger drinking coffee, watching summer dwindle. Emotions warming to the chill; the things we don’t want to-do, versus the things we must do in order to be functioning in the world. I am moving with the direction, traveling with electronics, going to the city for an exchange. I forget the purpose. 

Gun slingers singing to the wind,

Lonely hours spread a pasture.

When the day doesn’t go the way you thought, jump right into writing about it, find the music you lost. I can’t be mad for the sake of being mad, there are appointments that never occur, and unexpected special occasions that just happen. Shit happens. 

Resting till tommrow,

An opportunity may come.

Pottery Soul

This is a reaction to a reaction post, vicariously I am enjoying the assignments my close friend Marion has this semester. A philosophy major at the University of Arizona, we talk throughout the week. I miss my days of getting up early for class, driving to campus, buying a hot tea before the lecture at the U mart. Hearing Marion talk about submitting assignments and taking quizzes, I get that feeling of urgency and the responsibilities that teach us lessons uniquely, being in that student mode was fun. I believe Lil Wayne said it best What’s life without pressure, of course he was talking about making music consistently, but in college that deadline can test your wit, the production has to be on point and having that pressure only makes things more exciting. 

Doing the right thing is different in comparison to everyone, “the right thing” takes on many interpretations and what we desire, we have an opportunity to achieve that level of truth. Living life independently, although still keeping an open mind to better understand the process of doing that particular thing we think is right. 

The first thing I think of when I hear “jar,”  I think of the poem Anecdote of the Jar by Wallace Stevens, there is a jar of course, but the idea of a man made jar in the wilderness, on a hill, the jar is superior to nature because it has been placed there by man. Man’s perception of himself is for bargain, are nature and the jar equal entities? I believe the relationship to nature should be holistic, yet also unpredictable. And then there’s the ability of human thinking, we believe what we want, how does that play out with everything else existing. We give the value to what we possess and maybe too much value in comparison to natural life. 

The human race has become so civilized and sophisticated that the efficiency of good living is having all your technological devices updated to current standards. I’m wondering what particle or instruments will be found, civilizations in the future digging through the dirt and what would they find from our time? We waste so much but is there anything that can withstand the times and be there to represent us now, what are they learning about us when we are only dust.