Life is not always this soft feeling of being safe with no tension, it can become violent and traumatic, I just hope my experiences get utilized in the best way possible. I have been writing this blog for over five years and I think I’ve been honest, sharing good stories from my heart. There are some stories I’ve kept to myself and I think it’s time to share those tales from my life with anyone who’s willing to read and listen.
I started the stories-from-my-stomach blog in college, it was assignment in this food narrative course, it became a therapeutic part of my living. It was kinda a reference for my identity, in the university world, I was this Rez kid writing it all down. Documenting these thoughts in my noodle, finding ways for them to be interesting posts. After I graduated, it was journal about me figuring it out. I always thought my blog was not really a blog, only because it was never my cup of tea, and then suddenly I have one and that meant I could do it unorthodox because I never sincerely had any idea of what a blog could be…
Now as the world turns…
It was not my best year and life has this way of throwing you a curve ball when you least need it to be throwing any sort of balls at you. I was living very fast, I wanted everything, and I was willing to do anything to be this strong being. I get into a car accident and nearly lose my life.
On my way to work, my car caught fire, it’s such a horrific scenario that having survived it, I think re-telling it, wasn’t something I wanted to do. I have become so grateful over the years and going through that accident was not just a test of my character, it was something that redirected my life.
The car blew up and I have the burns to show that I was on fire as well, they pulled me from the inflamed vehicle. You can call it being blessed, you can call it being lucky, I had the best help, I nearly died and yet I’m here to embrace that tragic situation with everyone around me praying. It could have been a totally different story, I am not perfect, but I do have great support and that love brought me back to life.
I have to heal for a couple month in the hospital, I had a difficult time dealing with everything after. Certain statements or ways of wording anything having to do with me, got me upset or confused. It was like there was another version of myself that others were discussing, it had me defensive at times. I got back to this place where I felt normal again, but when the Doctor told me that I would never remember what happen, that shit scares me. It was a traumatic event, and I hit my head so hard that it is just got knocked out of my memory.
I guess its a good thing that I won’t remember that day, but on the other hand, I know it happened, so why is it not in my head like it didn’t happened. I can not forget about it, but is it something that I should be constantly thinking about?
You know I’ve lived such a great life, in the time after the accident, I’ve gotten to know so many cool individuals, I have family that is holding me down, I got another opportunity to survie and explore the world. I finally got serious about a degree to pursue, being excited to learn again was how I got started at the University of Arizona. It’s not always about wishful thinking, other times its about being brave to be confident.